A fun creative writing blog that helps authors by providing amazing writing tips.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

When to F* Your Social Media “Friends”

Did I just get your attention? Sure I did! And I didn’t even have to be dirty in doing so… Anyway, this blog post is about why to just say no to overfriending.

Overfriending is a new term I made up because I am awesome, but you know exactly what it means. Heck, everyone overfriends sometimes. The point I am making here is to not do it ever again. You see when I first started using social media sites such as Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter; I made it my goal to make at least ten “friends” every two days.

Now that sounds cool! The more "friends" the better! Because the more "friends" I make the more books I am going to sell, right! Heck no. You want to know why I keep putting friends in quotes? You know why, come on! You know!

I have found more success with selling to my social media acquaintances when they have found me and asked to join my network. It is better to market yourself through the social media sites and have them come to you.

Now an intelligent argument supporting overfriending would be that book marketing is a numbers game. Well, I don’t think so, but you can keep on truckin’ that way if you’d like. Even though Facebook does have a 5,000 friend limit per account you can be clever and open up an author fan page, which has no limit whatsoever. But… I still think you won’t get the results that you want. Intelligent book marketing will make you happier in the long run.

I for one have over 800 F-pals on FB, about 156 professional buds on Linkedin and over 80 Twitiots on Twitter and I have found that those number are way too high. I use only 10 percent for book marketing and networking. The rest are for what then?

I sure am talking tough, but I am not going to just delete anyone from my social media networks. You shouldn’t either. All I am saying is that it is important to understand who you are marketing your writing to. Just going out there and grabbing social media connections is not an intelligent book marketing strategy, it is quite frankly a waste of time.

I am more aggressive with sharing my blog posts, book links, book descriptions and book covers through popular social media sites. That way people can find me and those are the ones who are more likely to buy my work and be my friends. Damn, I am shallow.


  1. I have always believed it is better to have 200 "friends" (or followers, or whatever) who are actual friends or family, and know and care about you than to have 10,000 friends who don't know or care about you.

    The theory is, if you post about your book to 10,000 followers who don't care a whit about you and only follow to get their own numbers up, they are going to ignore you. They may even be annoyed and consider your post as spam.

    On the other hand, if you post to your 200 true friends and family, and gently urge them to pass the message on to their 200 true friends, and they then send it to 200 friends, etc., etc. everyone who has seen the post got it from someone they know and actually care about, therefore they are more likely to pay attention.

    You will still eventually reach 10,000 people, but you'll have done it much more effectively and get a greater return.

  2. Very smart comment, Vickie. It's all about making real connections.

  3. For me it's not about the numbers, although I'm guilty of accepting a lot of friend requests. It's about building solid relationships with those individuals. By doing so you increase your chances of selling whatever you may put out, because in essence the consumer is buying YOU and not your product.

  4. Indeed, that's why I let my personally shine in my blog posts. It screams "Buy me, I'm corny!'

  5. I only want to sell my stories to family and friends, I just want to have about 2,000 close family and friends. I don't look for sheer numbers, but to build relationships. If I'm busy building relationships then I don't spend too much time looking for new people. I want to get to the point where I can look at the people I have in my friends on my various networks and be glad I have them around just because they're them, and know that they feel the same way about me. That's my marketing strategy.

  6. I believe its ok to friend people. By friending you do not have to have an intimate relationship with them I have "friends" that i have not chatted with in months, no big problem. I don't care who reads my short stories on http://roshall.hubpages.com as long as someone can learn from my mistakes in life, my life with a drug addict can be very insightful. I write as a means of therapy.Do you want to be my friend?(lol)